Life’s Questions

    This is just a quick list of some interesting questions you should be asking yourself nearly every day.  They are mean to bring a smile to your face.

    • If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
    • Can Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
    • Can you cry under water?
    • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
    • Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’?  Where’s that extra penny going to?
    • Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
    • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
    • What disease did cured ham actually have?
    • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
    • Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a  baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
    • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    • Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
    • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
    • Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
    • Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?
    • Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
    • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
    • Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
    • If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
    • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
    • If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
    • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
    • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
    • Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
      • Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
    • Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
    • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    This helped me this morning, thought I would share.

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